We would love to have kids, but it just hasn't happened for us yet. Sometimes I get a little sad/worried about this, but other times, I just stare at people with multiple kids and wonder how in the world they do it! I mean, one kid seams pretty manageable since there's two of you and only one of them, but once numbers 2, 3 and beyond start happening... HOW do they do it? And I shouldn't be so flippant about one kid. I'm sure that would be a huge challenge because of the adjustment of being a free adult to being a parent. That has got to be a game changer in so many ways.
I've been thinking about this more than usual because I was just up in Lincoln and then Iowa for my uncle's funeral. He had been struggling with cancer for 7 years. It was very sad, but it was also such a sweet time together with so many relatives I haven't seen in a long time. Among those relatives is one cousin and her husband who have six children and one on the way. That means they will soon have SEVEN children. I don't even know how to feel about that.
Part of me feels jealous because I can't imagine ever physically being able to have that many children, seeing as there's something not working perfectly in that department with Jim and I. Part of me wishes I had the problem of just too many kids. It would be nice to feel like there was something so right about my husband and I that God and/or nature had seen fit to let us reproduce ourselves in seven different combinations. It just seems to shout of blessing, abundance and favor. But at the same time, perhaps God knows what we're capable of, and I would just not be a very good mother of seven children, which I pretty much already know. But seriously... I've yet to have a shot at even one. I hope I can be a mom someday soon. But why do I want this when it is so obviously so much work?
I've always been of the opinion that there are few things a person could do that would be more valuable then bringing a new person into the world and raising him or her in a loving home where God is honored and Christ is followed, and the child is taught to do the same. What a great privilege and blessing, to get to influence the world beyond your own lifespan in such a powerful way, and to nurture and know another person so completely.
It is comforting to realize that even if Jim and I have troubles having our own children biologically, we are still influencing children in our respective works, and we may be able to serve as foster parents or to adopt a child someday, as both of my sisters have done. I know that the bond between an adoptive child and parent can be just as strong, if not stronger, than the bond of a biological parent and child. I've seen this in action. I would be happy in this scenario for sure. Perhaps that is where the Lord will lead. We're definitely open to it.
But for the time being, it is nice to only have to worry about my adult husband and myself in the day to day arena. I know if we have kids someday, we'll look back on our relaxed evenings of watching TV together and our weekends of doing whatever we feel like and wish we could go back just for a bit. So I better enjoy it while it lasts, right?
Whatever stage in life you are in, I hope you are looking around and realizing how blessed you are in it, even in the midst of your longing for something just a little bit or a lot different. I hope your life is going well. If not, know that I am a friend who understands, but most of all, Jesus understands having to go through difficulties. And our gracious heavenly Father knows all and sees all and listens to our prayers. He controls the world, holding all things in his hands. Why should we, his children, be distressed about anything? But oh, when we are, he doesn't condemn us. He sometimes disciplines and prunes us, but when we are weak and oppressed in spirit, he brings comfort and he is near to those who desperately seek him. This I know.
Glory to the Father, Glory to the Son, Glory to the Spirit, Praise the three in one!
