Hi. It's me. I'm still here, I just haven't had much time for blogging lately.
My little Dean Christian is 6 months old, and doing very well. Praise God! I am... doing good. How can I explain how changed I feel, how very different my life is from the last time I wrote. How is life with a baby?
Busy
Tired
Happy
Cute
Awesome
Frustrating
Soar and achy
Hungry
Blessed
Beautiful
Stressful
I told Jim the other day, my days with Dean and then teaching lessons can be physically and mentally exhausting, but they are most always emotionally rewarding, especially now that Dean smiles so much. My back and shoulders always ache at the end of the day from carrying him around so much and bending over to change many a diaper, but my heart is full of happy, having gotten to take care of the cutest baby in the world (I'm biased, but seriously, you should see him) and see his little smile that eats his face. I don't deserve such a great kid. He is wonderful and I'm so blessed to be his mommy.
Today was a bit of a hard day. Hard days are not that uncommon. Today was hard not because of Dean so much, but because of a little marital conflict. Balancing all the demands of life with baby can take a toll on our marriage at times. But honestly, I don't think we're fighting much more than we did before baby, it just is a little harder to deal with sometimes because you don't have as much time to just hash things out because there's a little someone who always needs attending to and it's hard to get into deep and meaningful conversations with him around.
I don't want you to worry too much about me and Jim, I just feel like being perfectly honest. Sometimes life is hard. Sometimes I feel sad about the way things are. I'm guessing life will continue on and better days will come, Lord willing. I know I ought to try and focus on all the good things, so many good things... oh, Lord, why do I get so stuck on the downer emotions sometimes? And why did I have to get a traffic ticket on my way here, when this is the first time I've had some me time since Dean was born? Is today really the day I need to learn to pay attention to ridiculously low speed limits? 25 miles per hour? Does anyone really drive that slow on Lamar?
I digress. Sorry.
Well, I better get myself home. I'm glad tomorrow is Sunday. I'm glad for this time to actually process my life a bit, even if things are slightly less than perfect. Hope your life is going well these days, friend. Thanks for reading and for caring. It's nice to know somebody somewhere someday will probably read this. : )
