Hello, friend. I'm very thankful to say that the past month and a half have been filled with growth; physically, in my business, and in my heart.
Physically, I weigh more and I've had to update my pant selection two times. I've found that not all maternity pants are created equal and you can actually outgrow some of them.
Business wise, I am so relieved to say that I have acquired my first music therapy gig! I now do weekly music therapy with a group of seniors at a local retirement center. This has been so rewarding for me. I worked so hard on my masters and I'm very passionate about music therapy, and even though I have been using my therapy skills while teaching my two students with autism, it isn't technically fully music therapy because the goal for those students is to expose them to music, not to work on a non-musical goal, as requested by their parents.
For the past year or so I've had this little nagging voice in the back of my head, mocking me for spending all that time and money on a masters degree I'm not even using professionally, and now it's mostly gone! And I'm happy to say this is a decent-paying gig. I couldn't have earned this much for one hour of work before getting my masters. "Praise God from whom all blessings flow." It's a somewhat small thing, but it's very big to me.
My heart... my heart has been more blessed than I can say, with the realization of what's happening inside of me. I'm getting all of these wonderful little kicks that are getting stronger by the week, and, well, I never realized how much I've wanted to be a mom someday, deep down inside, until now. I think I never let myself consider how much I wanted this because for so long I wasn't sure if I would get to be one. Until you've found that right guy, it's pretty pointless to think too much about wanting to be a mom, at least that's how I felt. And then we had the two miscarriages and it all seemed like a far-off dream.
But now it's all really happening, and Lord willing, I will have the life-changing experience of going from Lisa, wife to Lisa, wife and mother of a little boy! I can't really take it in. How is it that God has chosen to use me and Jim to create a new life? How is such a miracle and privilege possible? I'm so amazed at how little I have to do with the whole process. There have been a few adjustments in being pregnant, but mostly I just go about business as usual, and somehow, a new person who has never been before is being created inside of me, hidden from the eye, and hidden from human understanding.
Who can truly understand these miracles of God? He is the creative genius behind all things living. I am so excited to meet this little boy and so honored to have been chosen to be his mom. I'm not deserving of this honor, but I trust that God will enable Jim and I to raise him well, to the degree that we continue to rely on Him.
My heart has also had the recent opportunity to grow through the experience of leading worship at our church. Our worship director, Jason, has this great attitude about volunteers and was willing to seek out a few of us willing to lead, in order to build up our leadership skills and also in order to have some people who can fill in for him on the rare occasion that he has to be gone. I've led worship before in college for a smallish weekly gathering, but this was my first time leading worship for a church service. It was a huge honor and blessing. I really enjoyed it and learned a lot.
That's about it from me, except to mention that I'm very thankful for Jim. We still have our occasional skirmish, but we're really in a great place overall. I'm amazed at how much better we are at working through conflict than we used to be. I love him so much, and I know I'm so lucky to have him. I mean, he made me pancakes on my birthday and gave me about the best gift I've ever gotten: a journal with a long entry to me, explaining that he wants to use the journal to write me a monthly note of appreciation. He seriously knows me well because that's the best gift I never would have thought to ask for! So, basically, he's awesome and our relationship is stronger than ever, all praise to God.
Happy December!
Friday, November 30, 2012
Saturday, October 6, 2012
Mostly free association
Uncertain, seeking words, searing truth, simple beauty
Warm chai, chilly October,
Clearing my mind of wifely duties -
cleaning the floors, the fridge -
that never let up,
of groceries that may or may not need to be bought,
of coupons that may or may not need to be cut,
Uncertainty, uneasy edge, compromised digestion,
I trade you for peace, joy, wonder, inspiration, engagement
Three and a half months pregnant
Thankful, so thankful for the heartbeat I heard
at the doctor's office,
so strong, so amazing, so not my own
Strangely thankful, for pants that do not fit,
for sluggishness, for less productivity;
for these minor adjustments are making room for a new life,
a unique, new person!
Oh, little person, I felt you move a little today,
when I was singing and playing my guitar,
a song I wrote two years ago around this time
for your oldest sibling,
who never grew as big and strong as little you,
but who will always be a part of me, and of you
That song has now been redeemed and I sing it now for you,
wondering at this storyline I'm living in
God is so good!
He who hears the cry of the needy,
and does not despise their songs and offerings,
because He sees and knows whose heart fears and loves Him,
and regards such hearts and such offerings with favor,
even above the offerings of the rich
and the talents of the most gifted artists
He knows the hearts of men
and judges them and their offerings accordingly
Oh, Lord, keep my heart steadfast and wholly yours,
no matter what
Lord God, please call me your own,
please shelter me under your wings,
please bless the efforts of my weary hands,
lifting my eyes from the dust and stress,
the fights and dirty dishes,
up to the patch of blue in the sky,
calling me to run through it
Carry me through for today, Lord
I will run again when you send me the strength,
Today, please carry me through,
and make my feet light and my face to shine
Uncertain, uneasy, now thankful, now resting again
Warm chai, chilly October,
Clearing my mind of wifely duties -
cleaning the floors, the fridge -
that never let up,
of groceries that may or may not need to be bought,
of coupons that may or may not need to be cut,
Uncertainty, uneasy edge, compromised digestion,
I trade you for peace, joy, wonder, inspiration, engagement
Three and a half months pregnant
Thankful, so thankful for the heartbeat I heard
at the doctor's office,
so strong, so amazing, so not my own
Strangely thankful, for pants that do not fit,
for sluggishness, for less productivity;
for these minor adjustments are making room for a new life,
a unique, new person!
Oh, little person, I felt you move a little today,
when I was singing and playing my guitar,
a song I wrote two years ago around this time
for your oldest sibling,
who never grew as big and strong as little you,
but who will always be a part of me, and of you
That song has now been redeemed and I sing it now for you,
wondering at this storyline I'm living in
God is so good!
He who hears the cry of the needy,
and does not despise their songs and offerings,
because He sees and knows whose heart fears and loves Him,
and regards such hearts and such offerings with favor,
even above the offerings of the rich
and the talents of the most gifted artists
He knows the hearts of men
and judges them and their offerings accordingly
Oh, Lord, keep my heart steadfast and wholly yours,
no matter what
Lord God, please call me your own,
please shelter me under your wings,
please bless the efforts of my weary hands,
lifting my eyes from the dust and stress,
the fights and dirty dishes,
up to the patch of blue in the sky,
calling me to run through it
Carry me through for today, Lord
I will run again when you send me the strength,
Today, please carry me through,
and make my feet light and my face to shine
Uncertain, uneasy, now thankful, now resting again
Friday, June 29, 2012
Glory
I've been reading in Isaiah and John lately. Actually, I've been reading in John mostly but I've been reading my journal from 2008 and I had some passages from Isaiah (50-60ish) written in there, so that counts I guess. Is it weird that I enjoy reading my own journals from time to time? It's similar to the enjoyment of looking back through an old photo album, but I enjoy it even more because you get a more accurate, complete picture.
I've been thinking about glory lately, partly because of what I've been reading and partly because of something I'm involved in right now. I'm accompanying for a community theater production of "Fiddler on the Roof" and it's made me wonder why these people volunteer so much time to be involved in such a production when they're not in high school or college where a big part of the motivation is to make friends, improve your self-confidence, have fun, and maybe impress a few people you want to impress.
I can't see people's hearts, so I could be wrong, but it seems like part of the draw is the desire to get a little recognition, to be on stage, and have people in your community think you are talented. I think for some the motivation is a love for musical theater in general, whether observing it or participating in it. These are the people who love to go to theater productions and would go even if they weren't involved in a show themselves. But I would venture to guess that for at least some of the people, the motivation is for the attention. That's not a crime, but I think for me it would be wrong, because I'm not even super passionate about musical theater, so if I were participating as an actress, it would mostly be for my own ego, because it would be fun to have people watch me singing and acting. It would be a lot of time wasted on shallow pursuits.
Having said this, I feel very differently about playing my own songs at open mic nights (which I haven't done in over a month unfortunately), I guess because songwriting is something I'm passionate about. I enjoy listening to others play their own songs, so I feel like I'm giving that gift back to others when I play, even if I'm not the best ever, or a little rusty. There's something very personal and vulnerable about playing a song you wrote, and the time and creativity that go into it make it a worthwhile craft in my mind, and one I have an appreciation for whether as an observer or performer.
I'm really just thinking out loud here. I wonder if anyone else has thoughts about this? Do you feel like you have a good read on your own motivations for doing different things? How important do you think that is?
All of this to say, I've been struck lately with the importance of knowing whose glory is most important: my own or God's. What am I living for? Is it to impress others, to gain recognition for myself, or is it to serve God and to seek to bring glory to Him? May it be the latter for all of us, whether our passion is for musical theater, songwriting, the outdoors, raising children, supporting the people in our lives, running a business, or whatever. I don't deserve a lot of glory, but He does. Just as Jesus (who deserved a lot more glory than I could ever deserve) didn't seek to glorify Himself but allowed His Father to do so as He served Him, may we follow, hungering and thirsting after Him and His purposes.
I've been thinking about glory lately, partly because of what I've been reading and partly because of something I'm involved in right now. I'm accompanying for a community theater production of "Fiddler on the Roof" and it's made me wonder why these people volunteer so much time to be involved in such a production when they're not in high school or college where a big part of the motivation is to make friends, improve your self-confidence, have fun, and maybe impress a few people you want to impress.
I can't see people's hearts, so I could be wrong, but it seems like part of the draw is the desire to get a little recognition, to be on stage, and have people in your community think you are talented. I think for some the motivation is a love for musical theater in general, whether observing it or participating in it. These are the people who love to go to theater productions and would go even if they weren't involved in a show themselves. But I would venture to guess that for at least some of the people, the motivation is for the attention. That's not a crime, but I think for me it would be wrong, because I'm not even super passionate about musical theater, so if I were participating as an actress, it would mostly be for my own ego, because it would be fun to have people watch me singing and acting. It would be a lot of time wasted on shallow pursuits.
Having said this, I feel very differently about playing my own songs at open mic nights (which I haven't done in over a month unfortunately), I guess because songwriting is something I'm passionate about. I enjoy listening to others play their own songs, so I feel like I'm giving that gift back to others when I play, even if I'm not the best ever, or a little rusty. There's something very personal and vulnerable about playing a song you wrote, and the time and creativity that go into it make it a worthwhile craft in my mind, and one I have an appreciation for whether as an observer or performer.
I'm really just thinking out loud here. I wonder if anyone else has thoughts about this? Do you feel like you have a good read on your own motivations for doing different things? How important do you think that is?
All of this to say, I've been struck lately with the importance of knowing whose glory is most important: my own or God's. What am I living for? Is it to impress others, to gain recognition for myself, or is it to serve God and to seek to bring glory to Him? May it be the latter for all of us, whether our passion is for musical theater, songwriting, the outdoors, raising children, supporting the people in our lives, running a business, or whatever. I don't deserve a lot of glory, but He does. Just as Jesus (who deserved a lot more glory than I could ever deserve) didn't seek to glorify Himself but allowed His Father to do so as He served Him, may we follow, hungering and thirsting after Him and His purposes.
Season of Busy
Hi. The last few months have been good, but very busy; a few times way too busy. I think about Ecclesiastes sometimes when I need a reminder that life changes, because I know I can't survive if it doesn't soon.
"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot... a time to mourn and a time to dance..." -Ecclesiastes 3:1-4
Recently it has been my time to build up my business and accidentally overcommit myself to various activities. It might not have been so bad except for the fact that I am not one of those people who just loves to be busy. I like to have plenty of good things to do, but there comes a point when I just don't feel like myself anymore because I haven't had time to process anything going on in my life. Anyone know what I mean?
Oh, and about that job I applied for: I didn't get it. They were very nice and said they might be interested in using me on an as-needed basis at some point, and I got an email just yesterday informing me of another opening, so I don't feel too bad or like they didn't think I was qualified. I probably didn't have as much experience with this population as they would have liked. Regardless, I have felt very assured that this was the right result because I've been getting lots of new students lately! Praise God for that!
I still do not technically have any music therapy clients, but I now have 2 going on 3 students with autism, and I know my music therapy background came into play with those parents. I have had to adapt my usual teaching strategies for these kids, and it has been both a challenge and a great reward. Overall, I'm very happy with what I'm doing and the direction things are going. I feel so blessed to be able to work out of my home doing something I'm so passionate about. I am not making a huge amount of money at this point, as I have around 18 students per week, but combined with Jim's teaching salary, it is enough, and there is a lot of potential for growth.
Career pursuits have been a big theme of this year for me. But there are many other thoughts that make their rounds when I have the time for them. Thoughts of loved ones, of friends far away and near, thoughts and wishes about developing closer friendships with girls who live close by, and thoughts about "family planning" as they call it. How about you, friend?
"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot... a time to mourn and a time to dance..." -Ecclesiastes 3:1-4
Recently it has been my time to build up my business and accidentally overcommit myself to various activities. It might not have been so bad except for the fact that I am not one of those people who just loves to be busy. I like to have plenty of good things to do, but there comes a point when I just don't feel like myself anymore because I haven't had time to process anything going on in my life. Anyone know what I mean?
Oh, and about that job I applied for: I didn't get it. They were very nice and said they might be interested in using me on an as-needed basis at some point, and I got an email just yesterday informing me of another opening, so I don't feel too bad or like they didn't think I was qualified. I probably didn't have as much experience with this population as they would have liked. Regardless, I have felt very assured that this was the right result because I've been getting lots of new students lately! Praise God for that!
I still do not technically have any music therapy clients, but I now have 2 going on 3 students with autism, and I know my music therapy background came into play with those parents. I have had to adapt my usual teaching strategies for these kids, and it has been both a challenge and a great reward. Overall, I'm very happy with what I'm doing and the direction things are going. I feel so blessed to be able to work out of my home doing something I'm so passionate about. I am not making a huge amount of money at this point, as I have around 18 students per week, but combined with Jim's teaching salary, it is enough, and there is a lot of potential for growth.
Career pursuits have been a big theme of this year for me. But there are many other thoughts that make their rounds when I have the time for them. Thoughts of loved ones, of friends far away and near, thoughts and wishes about developing closer friendships with girls who live close by, and thoughts about "family planning" as they call it. How about you, friend?
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Big Decisions
Life is full of big decisions, or so it seems today. I haven't had to make a really big one in a little while, but now I've got one looming on the horizon, and I'm feeling that familiar unsettled feeling. I remember feeling this way when I was trying to decide where to go to college. I remember feeling this way right before and right after getting engaged (but thankfully, it had gone completely away by the time I actually walked the aisle! I did pick a good guy after all).
This time, the decision is about whether or not to take a full time music therapy position when I have built my music studio up to 16 students, but have not gotten nearly as many music therapy clients as I would like. First of all, I should mention that even posing this question is immensely presumptuous at this point because they haven't even offered me the job, and there is a very good chance they won't. I interviewed for the job last week and I should know on Friday. I know they had at least 5 other music therapists apply. If I don't get the job, that will answer my question for me. But going through this process has gotten me thinking.
I wonder, why am I stressing about this? At first I was excited about it, but lately I've been feeling like "What am I doing? I've got a good thing going here, so why throw in more work than I can handle?" I would probably want to try and keep as many of my students as I could, but that would make my schedule really crazy. And Lisa's don't do crazy-busy well. Lisa's can handle crazy busy for short periods of time, but no more. I need to journal, to take walks, to work on songs, and cook weird things... it's part of my DNA. But maybe it wouldn't be all that bad. I wish I could see into the future!
The good thing is, I'm praying about it, and others are praying for me. I know God will direct me to where He wants me. How could I ever make these decisions if not for that? I know whatever happens, it will all work out for good, to the glory of God, as long as I keep seeking Him first.
I think this has been hard for me because I have never worked a full-time, grown up job before (Hy-Vee, Walmart and para educating count to some degree, but this would actually be in the field I studied). I'm used to teaching music lessons and managing my own small business. I enjoy it and I feel like I'm good at it, and it's very much under my control. And I have enough free time to cook, keep the house clean and cut coupons, work on a few songs and play the occasional open mic night. I like my life, even though I get frustrated at times that my studio is growing slowly. I'm seeing rays of light at the end of the tunnel and I really think if I just keep going with my plans, the students and clients will come.
I like my life. This past month Jim and I even made significantly more than we spent too! Things have been improving, so do I really even need to take this job? No, Lis, probably not. But... it's only 10 minutes away and it does sound pretty cool, and my income tends to drop in the summer, so something stable would be nice. I could probably figure out the scheduling issues, even if I couldn't keep all of my students.
I talked to another private practice music therapist the other day and she advised me to not give up on my studio yet. She even said she would send some referrals my way. But is it o.k. for me to want to work only out of my home, even though I don't have kids, in this modern era? Is it o.k. if I want to keep an organized home and cook for my husband and just work as much as I can at my slowly growing business while pursuing more business as I have time? I feel like that makes me lazy, even though I know I am not. I want to build up my ability to work from home so that when we have or adopt kids, I won't be tied to a job that requires me to be away from my kids for 40 hours a week. I'm working towards an ideal... but I'm kind of scared of being judged for not fitting into the typical modern-woman mold. I feel like I am expected to work outside of the home.
Thoughts, anyone?
This time, the decision is about whether or not to take a full time music therapy position when I have built my music studio up to 16 students, but have not gotten nearly as many music therapy clients as I would like. First of all, I should mention that even posing this question is immensely presumptuous at this point because they haven't even offered me the job, and there is a very good chance they won't. I interviewed for the job last week and I should know on Friday. I know they had at least 5 other music therapists apply. If I don't get the job, that will answer my question for me. But going through this process has gotten me thinking.
I wonder, why am I stressing about this? At first I was excited about it, but lately I've been feeling like "What am I doing? I've got a good thing going here, so why throw in more work than I can handle?" I would probably want to try and keep as many of my students as I could, but that would make my schedule really crazy. And Lisa's don't do crazy-busy well. Lisa's can handle crazy busy for short periods of time, but no more. I need to journal, to take walks, to work on songs, and cook weird things... it's part of my DNA. But maybe it wouldn't be all that bad. I wish I could see into the future!
The good thing is, I'm praying about it, and others are praying for me. I know God will direct me to where He wants me. How could I ever make these decisions if not for that? I know whatever happens, it will all work out for good, to the glory of God, as long as I keep seeking Him first.
I think this has been hard for me because I have never worked a full-time, grown up job before (Hy-Vee, Walmart and para educating count to some degree, but this would actually be in the field I studied). I'm used to teaching music lessons and managing my own small business. I enjoy it and I feel like I'm good at it, and it's very much under my control. And I have enough free time to cook, keep the house clean and cut coupons, work on a few songs and play the occasional open mic night. I like my life, even though I get frustrated at times that my studio is growing slowly. I'm seeing rays of light at the end of the tunnel and I really think if I just keep going with my plans, the students and clients will come.
I like my life. This past month Jim and I even made significantly more than we spent too! Things have been improving, so do I really even need to take this job? No, Lis, probably not. But... it's only 10 minutes away and it does sound pretty cool, and my income tends to drop in the summer, so something stable would be nice. I could probably figure out the scheduling issues, even if I couldn't keep all of my students.
I talked to another private practice music therapist the other day and she advised me to not give up on my studio yet. She even said she would send some referrals my way. But is it o.k. for me to want to work only out of my home, even though I don't have kids, in this modern era? Is it o.k. if I want to keep an organized home and cook for my husband and just work as much as I can at my slowly growing business while pursuing more business as I have time? I feel like that makes me lazy, even though I know I am not. I want to build up my ability to work from home so that when we have or adopt kids, I won't be tied to a job that requires me to be away from my kids for 40 hours a week. I'm working towards an ideal... but I'm kind of scared of being judged for not fitting into the typical modern-woman mold. I feel like I am expected to work outside of the home.
Thoughts, anyone?
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Married without Children
Jim and I are coming up on our 1.5 year Anniversary. One and a half years of just the two of us, trying to figure each other out, meld our twoness into oneness, decrease the number and strength of our fights, and just generally having a lot of nice chill time together.
We would love to have kids, but it just hasn't happened for us yet. Sometimes I get a little sad/worried about this, but other times, I just stare at people with multiple kids and wonder how in the world they do it! I mean, one kid seams pretty manageable since there's two of you and only one of them, but once numbers 2, 3 and beyond start happening... HOW do they do it? And I shouldn't be so flippant about one kid. I'm sure that would be a huge challenge because of the adjustment of being a free adult to being a parent. That has got to be a game changer in so many ways.
I've been thinking about this more than usual because I was just up in Lincoln and then Iowa for my uncle's funeral. He had been struggling with cancer for 7 years. It was very sad, but it was also such a sweet time together with so many relatives I haven't seen in a long time. Among those relatives is one cousin and her husband who have six children and one on the way. That means they will soon have SEVEN children. I don't even know how to feel about that.
Part of me feels jealous because I can't imagine ever physically being able to have that many children, seeing as there's something not working perfectly in that department with Jim and I. Part of me wishes I had the problem of just too many kids. It would be nice to feel like there was something so right about my husband and I that God and/or nature had seen fit to let us reproduce ourselves in seven different combinations. It just seems to shout of blessing, abundance and favor. But at the same time, perhaps God knows what we're capable of, and I would just not be a very good mother of seven children, which I pretty much already know. But seriously... I've yet to have a shot at even one. I hope I can be a mom someday soon. But why do I want this when it is so obviously so much work?
I've always been of the opinion that there are few things a person could do that would be more valuable then bringing a new person into the world and raising him or her in a loving home where God is honored and Christ is followed, and the child is taught to do the same. What a great privilege and blessing, to get to influence the world beyond your own lifespan in such a powerful way, and to nurture and know another person so completely.
It is comforting to realize that even if Jim and I have troubles having our own children biologically, we are still influencing children in our respective works, and we may be able to serve as foster parents or to adopt a child someday, as both of my sisters have done. I know that the bond between an adoptive child and parent can be just as strong, if not stronger, than the bond of a biological parent and child. I've seen this in action. I would be happy in this scenario for sure. Perhaps that is where the Lord will lead. We're definitely open to it.
But for the time being, it is nice to only have to worry about my adult husband and myself in the day to day arena. I know if we have kids someday, we'll look back on our relaxed evenings of watching TV together and our weekends of doing whatever we feel like and wish we could go back just for a bit. So I better enjoy it while it lasts, right?
Whatever stage in life you are in, I hope you are looking around and realizing how blessed you are in it, even in the midst of your longing for something just a little bit or a lot different. I hope your life is going well. If not, know that I am a friend who understands, but most of all, Jesus understands having to go through difficulties. And our gracious heavenly Father knows all and sees all and listens to our prayers. He controls the world, holding all things in his hands. Why should we, his children, be distressed about anything? But oh, when we are, he doesn't condemn us. He sometimes disciplines and prunes us, but when we are weak and oppressed in spirit, he brings comfort and he is near to those who desperately seek him. This I know.
We would love to have kids, but it just hasn't happened for us yet. Sometimes I get a little sad/worried about this, but other times, I just stare at people with multiple kids and wonder how in the world they do it! I mean, one kid seams pretty manageable since there's two of you and only one of them, but once numbers 2, 3 and beyond start happening... HOW do they do it? And I shouldn't be so flippant about one kid. I'm sure that would be a huge challenge because of the adjustment of being a free adult to being a parent. That has got to be a game changer in so many ways.
I've been thinking about this more than usual because I was just up in Lincoln and then Iowa for my uncle's funeral. He had been struggling with cancer for 7 years. It was very sad, but it was also such a sweet time together with so many relatives I haven't seen in a long time. Among those relatives is one cousin and her husband who have six children and one on the way. That means they will soon have SEVEN children. I don't even know how to feel about that.
Part of me feels jealous because I can't imagine ever physically being able to have that many children, seeing as there's something not working perfectly in that department with Jim and I. Part of me wishes I had the problem of just too many kids. It would be nice to feel like there was something so right about my husband and I that God and/or nature had seen fit to let us reproduce ourselves in seven different combinations. It just seems to shout of blessing, abundance and favor. But at the same time, perhaps God knows what we're capable of, and I would just not be a very good mother of seven children, which I pretty much already know. But seriously... I've yet to have a shot at even one. I hope I can be a mom someday soon. But why do I want this when it is so obviously so much work?
I've always been of the opinion that there are few things a person could do that would be more valuable then bringing a new person into the world and raising him or her in a loving home where God is honored and Christ is followed, and the child is taught to do the same. What a great privilege and blessing, to get to influence the world beyond your own lifespan in such a powerful way, and to nurture and know another person so completely.
It is comforting to realize that even if Jim and I have troubles having our own children biologically, we are still influencing children in our respective works, and we may be able to serve as foster parents or to adopt a child someday, as both of my sisters have done. I know that the bond between an adoptive child and parent can be just as strong, if not stronger, than the bond of a biological parent and child. I've seen this in action. I would be happy in this scenario for sure. Perhaps that is where the Lord will lead. We're definitely open to it.
But for the time being, it is nice to only have to worry about my adult husband and myself in the day to day arena. I know if we have kids someday, we'll look back on our relaxed evenings of watching TV together and our weekends of doing whatever we feel like and wish we could go back just for a bit. So I better enjoy it while it lasts, right?
Whatever stage in life you are in, I hope you are looking around and realizing how blessed you are in it, even in the midst of your longing for something just a little bit or a lot different. I hope your life is going well. If not, know that I am a friend who understands, but most of all, Jesus understands having to go through difficulties. And our gracious heavenly Father knows all and sees all and listens to our prayers. He controls the world, holding all things in his hands. Why should we, his children, be distressed about anything? But oh, when we are, he doesn't condemn us. He sometimes disciplines and prunes us, but when we are weak and oppressed in spirit, he brings comfort and he is near to those who desperately seek him. This I know.
Glory to the Father, Glory to the Son, Glory to the Spirit, Praise the three in one!
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Introductions
WOW, a new blog! So much potential, so much life and happenings that will transpire and be reflected in few words or many through these posts. Why a new blog, you ask? Well, I had my last one (myrovingfeet.blogspot.com) for over five years, and then I just stopped writing in it for a year. I guess my life had undergone such huge changes in getting married and moving to Kansas City that it became hard to write in that blog. I felt like a different person than the one who started writing it.
I realize that the title of this blog is temporal. I will remain married (divorce is not an option for either of us) and I will always identify myself in some way as a musician since it's such a deep-rooted part of me, but I will only be able to call myself young for another handful of year. Oh, well. Here we go!
So for those of you who know me, hello! And for those of you who do not, or only vaguely, my name is Lisa and I am a follower of Jesus, married to Jim and I am currently in the process of starting my own business, a music studio I operate out of my home. I guess that's all you need to know about me for now.
I am an avid journaler. I probably have about 20 journals totally packed with life happenings at this point, and I'm only 29! This blog will in no way be a journal substitute. The internet is not the place for bearing my soul to that degree. But seeing as I am a pretty transparent person, I will no doubt share enough for this to be called an online journal of sorts.
I really dig blogs. I have gotten out of the habit of blogging and even checking other blogs that I used to, but I want to get back into it. My brother's family has a great blog and two of my best friends used to blog a lot, but it seems the three of us fell off the bandwagon. Renee, Abby.... want to start a NEW blog too?!! That would be awesome. I miss being able to check in on you in random free moments.
Anyone else want to start a blog so I can keep up on your thoughts randomly? I welcome it. I think it's one of the best uses for blogs. Blogs are one way that technology can be used to bring people closer together. It's no substitute for personal interactions, but it can really help for the in-between times. Writing this makes me think of my friend Naomi. I haven't talked to her in WAY too long! Oh, and Phoebe... and others. I admit, I have been overly busy, running around trying so hard to advertise my business. It's so easy to let the immediate life stuff crowd out things like keeping up with long-distance friends and even family. I apologize. But I'm blessed to have great people in my life who are very understanding. I know the next time we get a chance to be together, we will pick up right where we left off. Thanks, true friend.
Talk to you soon, blog reader! And now that introductions are over, next time I will actually write something!
I realize that the title of this blog is temporal. I will remain married (divorce is not an option for either of us) and I will always identify myself in some way as a musician since it's such a deep-rooted part of me, but I will only be able to call myself young for another handful of year. Oh, well. Here we go!
So for those of you who know me, hello! And for those of you who do not, or only vaguely, my name is Lisa and I am a follower of Jesus, married to Jim and I am currently in the process of starting my own business, a music studio I operate out of my home. I guess that's all you need to know about me for now.
I am an avid journaler. I probably have about 20 journals totally packed with life happenings at this point, and I'm only 29! This blog will in no way be a journal substitute. The internet is not the place for bearing my soul to that degree. But seeing as I am a pretty transparent person, I will no doubt share enough for this to be called an online journal of sorts.
I really dig blogs. I have gotten out of the habit of blogging and even checking other blogs that I used to, but I want to get back into it. My brother's family has a great blog and two of my best friends used to blog a lot, but it seems the three of us fell off the bandwagon. Renee, Abby.... want to start a NEW blog too?!! That would be awesome. I miss being able to check in on you in random free moments.
Anyone else want to start a blog so I can keep up on your thoughts randomly? I welcome it. I think it's one of the best uses for blogs. Blogs are one way that technology can be used to bring people closer together. It's no substitute for personal interactions, but it can really help for the in-between times. Writing this makes me think of my friend Naomi. I haven't talked to her in WAY too long! Oh, and Phoebe... and others. I admit, I have been overly busy, running around trying so hard to advertise my business. It's so easy to let the immediate life stuff crowd out things like keeping up with long-distance friends and even family. I apologize. But I'm blessed to have great people in my life who are very understanding. I know the next time we get a chance to be together, we will pick up right where we left off. Thanks, true friend.
Talk to you soon, blog reader! And now that introductions are over, next time I will actually write something!
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