Glory

I've been reading in Isaiah and John lately.  Actually, I've been reading in John mostly but I've been reading my journal from 2008 and I had some passages from Isaiah (50-60ish) written in there, so that counts I guess.  Is it weird that I enjoy reading my own journals from time to time?  It's similar to the enjoyment of looking back through an old photo album, but I enjoy it even more because you get a more accurate, complete picture.

I've been thinking about glory lately, partly because of what I've been reading and partly because of something I'm involved in right now.  I'm accompanying for a community theater production of "Fiddler on the Roof" and it's made me wonder why these people volunteer so much time to be involved in such a production when they're not in high school or college where a big part of the motivation is to make friends, improve your self-confidence, have fun, and maybe impress a few people you want to impress. 

I can't see people's hearts, so I could be wrong, but it seems like part of the draw is the desire to get a little recognition, to be on stage, and have people in your community think you are talented.  I think for some the motivation is a love for musical theater in general, whether observing it or participating in it.  These are the people who love to go to theater productions and would go even if they weren't involved in a show themselves.  But I would venture to guess that for at least some of the people, the motivation is for the attention.  That's not a crime, but I think for me it would be wrong, because I'm not even super passionate about musical theater, so if I were participating as an actress, it would mostly be for my own ego, because it would be fun to have people watch me singing and acting.  It would be a lot of time wasted on shallow pursuits.

Having said this, I feel very differently about playing my own songs at open mic nights (which I haven't done in over a month unfortunately), I guess because songwriting is something I'm passionate about.  I enjoy listening to others play their own songs, so I feel like I'm giving that gift back to others when I play, even if I'm not the best ever, or a little rusty.  There's something very personal and vulnerable about playing a song you wrote, and the time and creativity that go into it make it a worthwhile craft in my mind, and one I have an appreciation for whether as an observer or performer.

I'm really just thinking out loud here.  I wonder if anyone else has thoughts about this?  Do you feel like you have a good read on your own motivations for doing different things?  How important do you think that is?

All of this to say, I've been struck lately with the importance of knowing whose glory is most important: my own or God's.  What am I living for?  Is it to impress others, to gain recognition for myself, or is it to serve God and to seek to bring glory to Him?  May it be the latter for all of us, whether our passion is for musical theater, songwriting, the outdoors, raising children, supporting the people in our lives, running a business, or whatever.  I don't deserve a lot of glory, but He does.  Just as Jesus (who deserved a lot more glory than I could ever deserve) didn't seek to glorify Himself but allowed His Father to do so as He served Him, may we follow, hungering and thirsting after Him and His purposes.