Hello, friend. I'm very thankful to say that the past month and a half have been filled with growth; physically, in my business, and in my heart.
Physically, I weigh more and I've had to update my pant selection two times. I've found that not all maternity pants are created equal and you can actually outgrow some of them.
Business wise, I am so relieved to say that I have acquired my first music therapy gig! I now do weekly music therapy with a group of seniors at a local retirement center. This has been so rewarding for me. I worked so hard on my masters and I'm very passionate about music therapy, and even though I have been using my therapy skills while teaching my two students with autism, it isn't technically fully music therapy because the goal for those students is to expose them to music, not to work on a non-musical goal, as requested by their parents.
For the past year or so I've had this little nagging voice in the back of my head, mocking me for spending all that time and money on a masters degree I'm not even using professionally, and now it's mostly gone! And I'm happy to say this is a decent-paying gig. I couldn't have earned this much for one hour of work before getting my masters. "Praise God from whom all blessings flow." It's a somewhat small thing, but it's very big to me.
My heart... my heart has been more blessed than I can say, with the realization of what's happening inside of me. I'm getting all of these wonderful little kicks that are getting stronger by the week, and, well, I never realized how much I've wanted to be a mom someday, deep down inside, until now. I think I never let myself consider how much I wanted this because for so long I wasn't sure if I would get to be one. Until you've found that right guy, it's pretty pointless to think too much about wanting to be a mom, at least that's how I felt. And then we had the two miscarriages and it all seemed like a far-off dream.
But now it's all really happening, and Lord willing, I will have the life-changing experience of going from Lisa, wife to Lisa, wife and mother of a little boy! I can't really take it in. How is it that God has chosen to use me and Jim to create a new life? How is such a miracle and privilege possible? I'm so amazed at how little I have to do with the whole process. There have been a few adjustments in being pregnant, but mostly I just go about business as usual, and somehow, a new person who has never been before is being created inside of me, hidden from the eye, and hidden from human understanding.
Who can truly understand these miracles of God? He is the creative genius behind all things living. I am so excited to meet this little boy and so honored to have been chosen to be his mom. I'm not deserving of this honor, but I trust that God will enable Jim and I to raise him well, to the degree that we continue to rely on Him.
My heart has also had the recent opportunity to grow through the experience of leading worship at our church. Our worship director, Jason, has this great attitude about volunteers and was willing to seek out a few of us willing to lead, in order to build up our leadership skills and also in order to have some people who can fill in for him on the rare occasion that he has to be gone. I've led worship before in college for a smallish weekly gathering, but this was my first time leading worship for a church service. It was a huge honor and blessing. I really enjoyed it and learned a lot.
That's about it from me, except to mention that I'm very thankful for Jim. We still have our occasional skirmish, but we're really in a great place overall. I'm amazed at how much better we are at working through conflict than we used to be. I love him so much, and I know I'm so lucky to have him. I mean, he made me pancakes on my birthday and gave me about the best gift I've ever gotten: a journal with a long entry to me, explaining that he wants to use the journal to write me a monthly note of appreciation. He seriously knows me well because that's the best gift I never would have thought to ask for! So, basically, he's awesome and our relationship is stronger than ever, all praise to God.
Happy December!
