Hello, friend.
Life has been good as of late. "Thanks, God. You are so nice to me. I know You are Good and Kind even when life is hard, but I just want to thank you that I really can't think of anything in my life that is altogether horrible, or even crummy. Sure, there are hard or stressful moments just being a mom, but I am so surrounded with blessings, even and especially including that adorable little guy who refused to take his nap today."
One thing that helps my general well being so much is when Jim and I are doing good. We had a little rough patch for a few days last weekend, but now that that has blown over, my life is a happy one. So much of my day-to-day happiness hinges on how well my marriage is going. That might sound like a lot of pressure on the marriage, but I don't think it's an altogether bad thing.
Our marriage norm after nearly 4 years now is "Good! Great!" But man, when things aren't good, it sure is depressing. I have a hard time waiting out the storms when they come. I feel very urgent about solving conflict, and sometimes this just causes more conflict, especially when tiredness and exhaustion are playing heavily into a conflict. Sometimes the best thing you can do is just go to sleep, but I have a hard time going to sleep when things seem off. Slowly, very slowly, I'm learning to have a more patient, long-term view of things. Slowly, I'm learning how to sleep off the rough edges of a fight.
I'm so thankful to have a husband who is good to me and cares about my emotions. I kind of have a lot of them. He may not always meet my sense of urgency at solving conflict and he may be grouchy sometimes, but just give the guy a decent night's sleep and he is very easy to be married to. : )
Relationships are fascinating to me. That's probably why I can't shake my embarrassing "Bachelor" addiction. Relationships, marriage... they are not for the weak. If you are weak, as we all are to some degree, getting married might actually be really good for you, assuming you and your spouse are both committed to God and to making it work. Marriage, when it is a healthy one, has a way of helping us to face ourselves, get over ourselves and grow up. It's also a lot of fun to have someone to share life with, generally speaking. The fights are not fun, but growing through them is very grounding, humbling, and good.
That's what I think, anyways. I know there are as many opinions on marriage as there are marriages, so I'm really just describing what it's been like for me lately. If you are in a relationship or marriage full of struggle, know that I am sympathetic to that too and would love to pray for you.
Jim and I struggled a lot through our first year and a half of marriage. It took us that long to basically figure each other out, come up with some good strategies for dealing with each other, and figure out that we needed to be intentional about having quality time together, especially time reading the Bible and praying together. Since that time, we've been mostly good with a healthy amount of conflict scattered in for flavor (it's easy to say that when I'm not in the middle of a conflict..).
I'm all for honesty, so no matter what season you are in relationally, I hope you are able to be completely honest with at least a few trusted friends. Relationships go through different seasons and sometimes it's well worth waiting out the season of hard to get to or get back to the season of good. I hope you are in or on your way to a season of good, friend. Keep seeking and trusting God, no matter the season, and pray that I may do the same. Whoever you are reading this, I most likely love you (this is not a popular blog), and thanks for reading!
Thursday, September 4, 2014
Saturday, July 5, 2014
Starting a New Life
Wow, it has been a long time. But here I am, at it again!! : )
So, since I last wrote here, my little boy has grown into what I'm going to call a big baby. He's still a baby and doesn't quite walk yet (he is on his own schedule, not the typical one!), but he's not the same type of thing as a little bitty baby. He gets around the house on all fours at high speeds and has his own language that can be quite expressive and he communicates quite well. He's my little buddy, who amazingly gets more adorable every day. How, I do not know!
Also, my dad offered my husband a job working at his company in my home town, Lincoln, Nebraska, and after much prayer and talking it through, we decided to go for it! We decided in late February and with God's help, sold our house ourselves and found our new house in Lincoln in one weekend of house shopping! It all went amazingly well and helped to confirm that we were on the right track.
Life has been pretty crazy for the past four months. Those of you who really know me will understand just how crazy when I tell you that the last time I worked on a song of my own was March 3! And tonight is finally the night that Jim and I decided I needed to finally GET OUT OF THE HOUSE and do something for me. I've been having some amazing and much needed "Lisa time" here at Meadowlark (very fitting coffee shop for me since my former studio was called Meadowlark Music Studio, and still will be once I get back to teaching)!
What does "Lisa time" consist of? Precisely this: one chai tea latte, a bumblebee bar (yum), journaling, listening to a nice band, talking to band members afterward, reading a few chapters in 3 different books, tonight on spiritual topics mainly, filling a blank piece of paper with free association thoughts, reading a bunch of other people's blogs, and then writing my own blog post consisting of a synopsis of my life as of late and my free association thoughts. Oh, yeah, so here they are:
July 5, 2014
I want more of life, more of love, more of Truth. I'm starting a new life here, though I'm not breaking with my past, but only taking the next step up the winding staircase of God's will for me and in me.
Listen closely... can you hear all the chaotic, raining pieces falling into place... clink, clink, clicking, slowly becoming ordered objects, useful and clean? This is my dream becoming reality. This is why I've been working so hard, so relentlessly.
I want people who enter my house to enter ordered beauty, simple, plain and honest. I want them to sense the open hearts that live inside the walls; the ones with beating hearts who work to keep their lives correctly prioritized.
I want to dare, to courageously choose to live differently, purposefully, clearly. I want to work at it, undaunted by short-term failures and flaws, unafraid of perfection as well as imperfection, recognizing that each has its place in the grand design of life and truth, and acknowledge that appearances can be a means of deception. I want to reject all forms of deception and embrace humility, daily repentance, dependence on God, and open-armed living, balanced with times of rest, reflection and prayer.
So, since I last wrote here, my little boy has grown into what I'm going to call a big baby. He's still a baby and doesn't quite walk yet (he is on his own schedule, not the typical one!), but he's not the same type of thing as a little bitty baby. He gets around the house on all fours at high speeds and has his own language that can be quite expressive and he communicates quite well. He's my little buddy, who amazingly gets more adorable every day. How, I do not know!
Also, my dad offered my husband a job working at his company in my home town, Lincoln, Nebraska, and after much prayer and talking it through, we decided to go for it! We decided in late February and with God's help, sold our house ourselves and found our new house in Lincoln in one weekend of house shopping! It all went amazingly well and helped to confirm that we were on the right track.
Life has been pretty crazy for the past four months. Those of you who really know me will understand just how crazy when I tell you that the last time I worked on a song of my own was March 3! And tonight is finally the night that Jim and I decided I needed to finally GET OUT OF THE HOUSE and do something for me. I've been having some amazing and much needed "Lisa time" here at Meadowlark (very fitting coffee shop for me since my former studio was called Meadowlark Music Studio, and still will be once I get back to teaching)!
What does "Lisa time" consist of? Precisely this: one chai tea latte, a bumblebee bar (yum), journaling, listening to a nice band, talking to band members afterward, reading a few chapters in 3 different books, tonight on spiritual topics mainly, filling a blank piece of paper with free association thoughts, reading a bunch of other people's blogs, and then writing my own blog post consisting of a synopsis of my life as of late and my free association thoughts. Oh, yeah, so here they are:
July 5, 2014
I want more of life, more of love, more of Truth. I'm starting a new life here, though I'm not breaking with my past, but only taking the next step up the winding staircase of God's will for me and in me.
Listen closely... can you hear all the chaotic, raining pieces falling into place... clink, clink, clicking, slowly becoming ordered objects, useful and clean? This is my dream becoming reality. This is why I've been working so hard, so relentlessly.
I want people who enter my house to enter ordered beauty, simple, plain and honest. I want them to sense the open hearts that live inside the walls; the ones with beating hearts who work to keep their lives correctly prioritized.
I want to dare, to courageously choose to live differently, purposefully, clearly. I want to work at it, undaunted by short-term failures and flaws, unafraid of perfection as well as imperfection, recognizing that each has its place in the grand design of life and truth, and acknowledge that appearances can be a means of deception. I want to reject all forms of deception and embrace humility, daily repentance, dependence on God, and open-armed living, balanced with times of rest, reflection and prayer.
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